Abnormal, Please Be The New Normal

COVID-19 has given us a wretched reality. It’s pathetic — there’s no doubt about it.

After some relaxations were announced, the first things that circulated heavily on all kind of social media were videos of queues for booze. There was one of near where we live — the queue went on for almost 800 metres with people squeezing into each other.

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Still In Lockdown And Still Loving It!

The lockdown has done great wonders! People are living with each other instead of in their respective phones, there are social praises on the society message boards instead of defaulters lists, and there’s greater sense of cooperation in general.

Instagram is full of great cooking, it’s brought out men’s house cleaning skills, suddenly studying at a stressed age doesn’t look that difficult and people are adding certificates from edX, Udemy or wherever, and there’s realisation that it’s never too late to start a hobby or learn a craft.

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Bare Essentials

WhatsApp. According to the latest figures, over 1.6 billion people use it. And that’s discounting China where it is largely blocked. Based on several social media reports, it is also the first thing that a huge chunk of people check on their smartphones.

For an equally preposterous percentage of people — almost 80% of total consumers — the first real activity of the day is checking their smartphones. If they had a choice, breathing would be second. Other morning duties would be optional undertakings.

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Stuffed Toys & Silly Crossovers

I have blurry recollection of a small stuffed bear back when I was a tot. It was grey and had a gloomy face — not something you’d call an attractive toy. Neither my sister nor I had great fondness for it. It was always neglected. But it had the great distinction of being a stuffed toy. Stuffed toys are things that no one needs but everyone has.

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I Need Space. Ok, Maybe Not.

Why exactly? Are you a married guy or one in a bit of a spot in your relationship that you need more ‘space’? 

Space is a strange thing. If it’s too less you feel claustrophobic; if it’s too much you feel lost. And while there can’t be such a thing as the perfect space, it’s easy to say whether any space is uncomfortably tight or unnecessarily vast. 

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Idiot Incoming?

Because you’re reading this, I assume you’re an actual person. And because you are an actual person, I assume you’ve got actual friends. Unless of course you’re Donald Trump, in which case you bribe people to say they’re your friends. Friends exist to make life whimsical. 

Have you ever been to a police station? I’ve visited there. Twice. The first time it was nothing more than to report loss of a driving licence. We went there driving my friend’s car to report the loss of the very document that allowed him to drive. I love the irony in that!

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Best car I’ve driven? Oh God, not again!

I attended — was made to, more accurately — my fair share of social gatherings last year. Ones where your enthusiastic family elders make it socially discomforting for you by telling other equally enthusiastic elders about what you do. It’s a strange fetish.

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